I got a lot to say, I got a lot to say, I got a lot to say. I can't remember now, I can't remember now, I can't remember now

I wonder what would happen if Dr House from House MD met Dr Lightman from Lie To Me...

Anyways. Even though Thursdays are my usual (and only) day off I'm going in tomorrow to do the bookeeping. I usually do that on weekends, but the girl who takes care of it Mon-Fri needs a day off since she's been getting sick*. Its not too bad though, its a slightly higher pay and it's only 4 hours and the best part? I don't deal with guests :) They asked me to also cover take-out but honestly I couldn't... I still need to clean my room** and honestly I was waay looking forward to getting to wear some color instead of all black...

So these days anytime I see a plane, all I can think is "Come July, that'll be me..." I'm still surprised I'm gonna get to go. I'm mentally thinking of what I need to pack, how to avoid too much luggage, how much it'll cost to ship things home... just a lot of little things. squee. really, just, squee!

The only thing I'm worried about is my cat. He hates it when I leave. And apparently he meows all night when I'm not home, he still sleeps in my room even when I'm not there. And of course when I get back he'll avoid me for like 3 days until he forgives me. The cat, Eros, started out as being my sister's. But for some reason Eros chose me, and really doesn't like anyone else except maybe my mom.

There's not much going on, I might hit the beach tomorrow, and I might catch some Doctor Who with Robin since we've still only seen the Christmas episode of Season 2...

Since I gotta be up all hella early I'm turning in now. Catch you all later!

DFTBA

*as prescribed by her Doctor, lucky duck...
** There's a very good chance my room will never be clean again. I've accepted that, mom, however, sure hasn't.

So late...

But I really don't want to fail BEDA!!! Especially since this is the longest streak I've ever had! So today's Stats:

Breakfast: tea (English breakfast), scrambled eggs, orange juice, 2 oranges, and toast.

Clean: Not even a little. I completely fail at beng an adult

Reading: nope. Which is silly cause I'm reading another book By Carlos Ruiz Zafon called The Angel's Game which is so far very intriguing...

Watch: disc 3 and part of disc 4 of Friend's season 3. The Rachel/Ross breakup is still way intense.

Lunch: Ramon Noodle and juice. Completely undoing the good of breakfast, but that's normal for me...

Clothes: work clothes- black pants, black top. BJ's has completely ruined me for wearing black, the bastards.

Podcasts: so so behind but almost done with the back log of Views From a Longbox and it feels good go be listening to comic talk again.

Spending: well there's the plus of paying my phone bill, but the slight negative of buying a camcorder... Thankfully only $100 and takes SD cards instead of internal memory, which I just don't agree with...

Work: alright, but fellow host turning all crazy bitchy like, well, me, was quite bizarre. Thankfully she her shift was finished quickly after.

Tomorrow: late shift so I plan to clean. Will try to go running, want to eat healthier then I have been. AND NOT SPEND ANY $!!!!!

DFTBA

Spring Cleaning? Yeah Right...

So I have a lot of laundry that I need to deal with. The problem is that it's all clean and it's taken over my bed- so when I went to bed last night I had to curl up near the head cause everything else was covered in clothes... and of course, despite that I had the whole day free and didn't start work till 6, did I put my clothes away? No. I did about half, but between errands, in n out*, watching Scott Pilgrim and lazing about, I did not finish. Hopefully tomorrow I will be more efficient.

I went to the library today to return 3 books- Geek High, My Double Life, and Ten Things I Hate About Me, and recheck out: Cirque Du Freak 5, and Geek Magnet. I also went to target today cause with my new very short hair style, I needed pomade to style it, which is basically wax. Problem is, most sculpting waxes for girls are made with high shine, and I really didn't think that'd be a good look for me since I work in a restaurant. The only low shine I found was called Fiber and made by American Crew, which is the official supplier for Men. Although I've always felt that for the most part guys have better stuff, like razors, and shirts, and jeans... apparently hair care as well. What next? Make-up? LOL.

Work Today was alright. Its generally a short shift when I Food Run** but today it was really short- I only worked 3 hours. And since it was relatively slow today I doubt I'll make more then $20 today... ah well. To tell you the truth I wasn't really feeling it today anyways. I did however score a bottle of Barefoot Moscato since Stephanie doesn't drink.

Tomorrow I'll clean, but I work a full shift so I'll have to finish by 3... Here's hoping!

DFTBA

* not that I regret going to in n out :)
** especially since the girl I work with, Stephanie, really pushes to get me home early so she can keep most of the tips...

Cheating...

It's only 9:30 but I'm really tired so this is my super lame way of still BEDA-ing without forgetting a day. Apologies all around. I'll see you mañana!

Whatever Happened to Saturday Night?

I worked from 7am to 3:50pm today. The first 4 hours was taking care of the bookkeeping, after that I was in takeout. Which was really slow, especially cause Frank was scheduled to work with me and you really don't need to people at takeout on Saturday during the lunch shift. The worst part was splitting the tips. I got $18 instead of $27. Oh well, hopefully it won't be a permanent thing. After work I rushed home to change, cause tonight, me and Cassandra are going to Disney's* California Adventure to dance at ElecTRONica in the Hollywood Studios Backlot. ElecTRONica is basically a nightclub (yes with alcohol) with a Tron Theme.

They first started the nightclub concept last summer with their GlowFest. Basically the same as ElecTRONica but with a neon color scheme (instead of ElecTRONica's blue and black color scheme). But while that one was just all dancing, ElecTRONica also had a sneak peek at Tron: Legacy, a pretty swank bar to hang out at, and Flynn's. Ok so if you haven't seen the first Tron film. The protagonist of the story owned an arcade called Flynn's and it played a pretty critical role in the sequel. And Disney, geniuses that they are, recreated the arcade at DCA. The best part was that they didn't fill it with all the currant games that everyone is playing. Oh no, the arcade had all the classic games the the generation before me (and partly mine as well) enjoyed. Games like the first Donkey Kong, Space Invaders, Pong, Pac-Man, Galaxian, etc etc. Truly fantastic games from my childhood that I sucked at** but really loved. And to top it off, Disney bought the old change machines and made special Flynn arcade tokens. So just like in the 80s and early 90s you put a buck into the machine and got back 4 tokens to play with. A lot of people consider ElecTRONica superior to GlowFest and while I never got to experience GlowFest, I don't imagine they're wrong. I haven't heard it officily confirmed, and I heard it from a work buddy, and not from the few podcasters and/or twitter accounts who always seem to get their facts starlight, but apparently, when ElecTRONica comes to an end on Labor day*** GlowFest will make a reappearance, I hope they add to it to make it more then just a club though... But since it's not attatched to a movie I have no idea what they can add...

Well Cassandra should be here soon so I'll say bye now. Talk to you later!

DFTBA!

*I know Disney has altered their brand recently and they've dropped the "'s" but honestly, I grew up calling everything Disney's. I don't plan on changing that anytime soon...
**a skill level I have never gone passed. Seriously, my hand eye coordination SUCKS
***this is how popular ElecTRONica ended up being: it was only supposed to last ti early January, then mid march, then spring time, and finally Labor Day. No complaits from me :)

Blogging at work...

It's busy but no ones yelled at me, so win! Plus I'm on break in the kitchen and we're telling riddles. I have Thomas, the manager, confused in the Greenhouse. Which is the only good riddle I know. When I have more time I'll blog it. Plus I plan to down like 3 cups of coffee :)

So far two people got the riddle, but 3 more still need to figure it out... Hee hee I'm evil.

Ok so 2 cups of coffee and some coke...

Ok, now back to work! And thankfully in a much better mood :)

DFTBA

PS... you can have apples in the greenhouse but you can't have oranges :)

Hanging with friends and buying shoes!

So today, I went out to get Brunch with Liz and Cassandra. We had a good day today, I had eggs, bacon, avocado and toast. We went to this small cafe in Hermosa Beach that I'd never been in, I almost got pancakes cause when I first walked in it smelled of syrup and it smelled good!

Afterwards since we still had time before Cassandra had to go to work, we went to Whole Foods cause Liz wanted a pair of Toms Shoes. If you don't know, Toms Shoes is a company that makes shoes from vegan and organic materials. But their big thing is their One for One movement. For every pair they sell they will donate a pair to children in 3rd world country who needs them. They're the reason Tuesday was "A Day without Shoes" Where they encourage us to go a day without shoes so we can get an idea of what the rest of the world has to deal with.

I've known about Toms Shoes for awhile, although it seems like they're just recently hitting the mainstream media. My sis is a big supporter of them. But when she first told me an=bout them, she showed me their cream colored ones and i just didn't like them. I completely supported what the company was doing and hoped they get a lot of people to buy, but they just weren't for me. So when we went today so Liz and Cassandra (who also wanted a pair) I was just gonna go to hang out.

So there we were and Liz and Cassandra were trying to find shoes that fit in a color/pattern they wanted, which was a bit difficult, cause hey're not sized like normal shoes, and Toms suggest going 1/2 a size smaller cause they'll eventually stretch. So while we were trying to find sizes that fit, I got kinda curious so i decided to see what size what fit and how they'd look on me, and... as I'm sure you guessed... they looked kinda nice on me. The style I picked was all wrong though, so then I was going right along with Liz and Cassandra trying to find a size that fit in a style I wanted. I wasn't a fan of the patterns but non of the colors were in my size. In the end though, I did find an olive pair one size smaller that i can fit on my feet. The best part was that when the three of us found pairs for ourselves and headed to our cars to go to REI we all threw off our shoes and quickly put on our new Toms Shoes! Actually wearing them now, they aren't as tight as they were at first, and they're quite comfortable. I still love my chucks and those may always be my favorite style, but Toms are quite nice too :)

After Whole Foods we went to REI cause Liz wanted a larger water bottle and to look at backpacks. And since all three of us are rather outdoorsey even Cassandra and I were happy to go even just to look. REI is a store meant for campers, backpackers, bikers, etc, etc. They're a bit pricey, but the best thing about them is their stuff is incredibly durable, and they have a truly legit lifetime warrenty on their products. I know friends who have been able to return extremely beat up and old hiking shoes and replace them with new ones. anytime I'm there it just makes me want to head for the mountains or the desert and camp for like a month. :)

Afterwards, I dropped off Liz at the Honda Dealership so she can get her car from getting serviced and I headed home. But now I'm leaving again cause Liz, Robin, and I are going to cook a vegan meal! As a hardcore carnivore, this is gonna be new for me.

DFTBA

I hope I don't jinx it by mentioning this...

But I'm a bit surprised I haven't skipped a day if BEDA yet. I think last year I lasted like 2 days before I forgot a day... And then I never quite recovered. Maybe it's a sign that I can also finally do NaNoWriMo and win. Shocking, right?

So tomorrow I'm hitting brunch with my friends Cassandra and Liz. Liz is coming down from Arizona before she leaves to work in FL w, I think, sea turtles again. I still get pretty jealous that she's gotten to work with sea turtles! I might also go to Robin's house to catch her up on some more Doctor Who. She finished season 1 last week and I convinced her to at least watch the Christmas special with Tennant so she can meet the new Doctor*. And just like I expected she likes him very much. Eccleson will always be my Doctor, but there's just no denying 10's amazing charisma...

Speaking of Doctor Who I went ahead and bought the ongoing Comic book series. I sadly missed the very first issue, which is now sold out, but I got 2 and 3 which are parts 1 and 2 of a three part Jack the Ripper storyline. I'm liking it so far, but I want to read a few more issues before deciding to add it to my pull list.

Ahhh pull lists... I finally cleaned mine out and that only took like 6 months to do... I'm really gonna make the effort to stick to going once a week and not letting all those comics accumulate... Especially cause I'm still a few months behind on my reading. Oy...

Well look at that! A proper post!

DFTBA

*Not that I had to try to hard to convince her...

Ugh work

Seriously people. If you're gonna get 14 friends to go out to dinner don't be surprised that you have to wait. Don't whine and bitch about not being sat immediately. Especially when there's a Dodgers game AND a Lakers game. Hello? You Live in LA, of course we'll get busy. *Le Sigh* at least I'm on break now (and I have 10 more minutes) and when I left there was only like 2 names, I'm soooo hoping it's just like that when I get back...

Mostly about Teefury

I sadly did not take any time today to think of what I wanted to blog about. And outside of classes and work I didn't do much. I did buy a pair of black denim jeans, and I don't think I've ever owned a pair of black denim jeans before... I also got my doctor who/ the beatles tee from teefury so that was a plus! I also bought the doctor who shirt TeeFury is selling till tomorrow night. It's a Doctor Who and Star Wars mash up. And I'm not complaining or anything, but TeeFury really does love their mashups, don't they? They're also apparently gonna sell a Torchwood one right after the DW/SW one and Since I'm almost done with season 2 I'm very excited to see what they create! I wish today's post had more substance, especially since tomorrow I work a full shift tomorrow, so I may have to do a quick post if I want to keep my streak going... ah well, It's only the 1st week, there's still plenty of chances for brilliance :)

DFTBA

Favorite book

Why is it that when I'm away from my computer I have all sorts of ideas for what to blog about, but the second I fire up the laptop (Charlie), I end up staring at this blank page for ages????

Right. I have been staring at this screen for 10 minutes now! (ok fine, 5. But Still!)

Right, right. ok, here's something. My favorite book is Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. It was first published in Spain but has since become an international best seller. It reads like a fantasy story with magic around every corner, but this book is firmly set in the mundane. It has not one magic spell in it. Its gothic and dark. Part mystery, part romance. And the writer- he writes with such skill, and honestly, he writes stories in the way that I have always wanted to write stories. Bloody fantastic, I tell you.

Anyways, I bring that book up because for the longest time, when ever I'm looking for a new book to buy the same thought crosses my mind. Over and over like its on repeat: I wish I never read Shadow of the Wind. And I know that makes no sense at first, but think about it. If I had never read then I could be a bookstore right now looking for something to read and by chance pick it up and then i would have the greatest pleasure of reading it for the first time all over again. And I want that so freaking bad!! I know rereading gives you the chance to pick up on things you missed the first time, but its almost always the first time reading something that determines if you'll fall in love with it. And with Shadow of the Wind I fell hard. Pretty much as hard as I did when I discovered Harry Potter all those years ago. And that is saying something :)

DFTBA

Let's just pretend this title is interesting...

Cause once again, I find myself having to update in-between events. This time it's after work and before a friend's bday party. A bunch of us, the Noble Crew (we all know each other from when we worked together at Barnes & Noble; the only place I've ever worked where the employees felt like honest-to-God family) are going out to celebrate with margaritas! And as excited as I am to see the gang again, I may be even more excited about FINALLY wearing my heels. Nude colored with that hidden platform in the toes that make them look more hardcore then they actually are. Bliss.

Mind you, what with working at 7am tomorrow this may not be one of my more intel ever ideas. Ah well, cute heels and margaritas. I'll live :)

And because I'm apparently a glutton for punishment..

I will be attempting BEDA once more. Sadly I'm at work, and will be till midnight, so this tiny, insignificant, blog post will have to suffice for day one.

Alas and Alack*.


*No idea why but I've always wanted to say that...

heh

I'm at work right now, manning the nook station at work but its really slow so I'm playing with the nook.

Ooh, I just sold a nook Color! I usually suck at closing a sale. So not much going in with my lige right now. Ok that's not true. I just still don't want to talk about it, its just either too much or nothing. And thinking about it makes me want to cry or scream. Plus it gives me a headachr. Oh I should go to lunch. Time flew. No idea how...

This post is not what i thought it'd be...

     Its totally been awhile, but things got busy. Not in a I-have-so-much-work-to-do-I-have-no-time-to-chillax kind of busy. More of a I-have-planned-so-many-blog-worthy-things-to-do-that-I-don't-actually-have-time-to-blog kind of busy. Ok, well, most of it was that. But the past days have just been sadness over Esther passing. It really does suck that someone with so much life in them didn't get enough time to live it all, but it is a comfort to know that she lived her life to the fullest. The 16 short years she got weren't in vain, they were lived more fully them some people get whether its 30 years or 60. When I was younger and the man who would have ended up as my uncle passed my mom told me that sometimes people need to die because God has a need for them up in heaven. And I don't know if thats true or not, its hard to imagine that any human can do something that God himself cannot do, but I do believe that heaven is a greater place for having Esther in it, and I would like to think that God did have a need for her and thats why we don't have her anymore. I didn't know her as well as I wanted to, and certainly not as well as her closest friends had the privilege to but the little I did know was proof enough that this girl was a miracle in and of herself, and she will not be forgotten soon, if ever.

      I honestly didn't think I was gonna blog that much about Esther. I thought I was gonna mention being sad and then move on... it's hard for me to put out so much real emotion were other people can see it. Because 1) I tend to not share my stronger emotions more often then not (truthfully its probably why I will never be a published author) and 2) its even harder for me to put it in a place thats meant for public view because then I feel that it becomes less about what your feeling and more about how will the people reading it construe it, and then I just fall apart thinking how does this sound, maybe I should use this word, do I sound fake? will people mock? etc etc etc...

     I really am all talk. For all my posturing about how I don't care what other people think of me, that the only thing that matters is my own opinion, and that the mean and petty comments i may hear about myself are actually quite amusing to me cause I know who I am and thats all that matters... Its all lies. I do want to be liked. I'm still that stupid 14 year old who's so scared of rejection that I'll hide who I am because I don't think people like who she is. It's not as bad as it was back then, but its still there lurking under the girl I am now. There are times when I really don't care if people think I'm stupid or annoying or a bitch (truthfully that last one bothers me the least- being bitchy is a choice, one i make a few times, but stupid or annoying are the kind of things that I feel are harder to stop being- my intelligence is what it is and if my personality is annoying I also can't help it- its who I am, who I've been these past 24 yrs...)

     But then there are moments that I won't say something, or I'll let something pass because I don't want to bring attention to myself or give people the opportunity to think I am stupid...

     I still have the same low self esteem I've had since I was a kid. I know this and I want to change it, but I don't know how. How do you stop from thinking a certain way?